KARMIC LOVERS – Henk Verhaeren
Love is a verb. So a successful love-relation requires mental, physical and spiritual input from both partners. In healthy situations a natural balancing is taking place, which makes lovers able to evolve in equal measures.
Sometimes consciousness takes a leap ahead in evolution. That’s when spiritual awakening knocks on the door. If one partner awakens during a relationship– which is usually the case – the relation will not automatically change for the better. A major shift in consciousness can turn a love-life completely upside down.
Spiritual people might assume that a spiritual awakening will be beneficial for the romance. It’s possible. But it can also have a devastating effect. Sometimes it takes years before the awakening is established in the world. It just needs time and effort to integrate the shift. That can become a burden for the partner who didn’t ask for this. And also for the awakened one it isn’t all love, peace and happiness 24/7. Recognizing your shadow-sides in the mirror reflection of your beloved partner can be rather shocking. Ego and authenticity usually don’t match very well.
When you are spiritually awakening you can see the constricting patterns which connect you and your partner in a negative way. At first it seems simple to rectify. But physical reality is more stubborn than clear understanding. Soon you will find out that discussing these karmic patterns with your partner is challenging. That’s because the patterns are covering up extremely sensitive inner wounds and trauma. As a result of talking about it, unconscious defense mechanisms become active. This makes open communication practically impossible. The partner simply feels attacked, and will counterattack or shut down emotionally. In this way what stands between you cannot be taken care of and healed. This is a painful dilemma. Especially for the awakened partner, because the solution seems so obvious. But don’t forget – although it might seem logical and simple now that you’re awakened – that before your awakening you weren’t aware of these patterns too.
When spiritual awakening reveals your repressed shadow sides, it changes your perspective on life right away. You’re able to distinguish unconscious patterns that are activating undesirable behavior. To dismantle these ingrained, and often ancestral habits, is hard. To integrate the insights into your relationship is even harder. And on top of that there is also the wounded collective karma, that binds us all. Hell, it probably takes millions of lifetimes to transcend this, and even than the integration will probably never stop.
After an intense awakening your relationship enters an intense period of great possibilities and tremendous growth. But, just like the meme says: ‘No pain, no gain’. It’s hard work. The dark phases in between the revelations are numerous. When you think you’ve seen it all, the next dark shadow jumps on your back. I don’t want to spoil the fun. But the chance that the dark night of the soul literally lasts only one night, is less than zero. Many dark nights must be overcome.
And, as if all these confrontations aren’t enough, besides that memories from past lives can pop up. Also about past lives that you and your partner have shared together. This can bring lovers closer or drive them apart. It makes all inner demons appear to test what you are truly made of. It’s in this way that unconditional love can reveal its deeper meaning, far beyond the romanticized idea of it.
So there’s no guarantee that your partner can or will be able to cope with the turmoil that your awakening creates. So be it. Some relationships just aren’t meant to last forever.
Luckily an awakened partner can recognize the pitfalls in the relationship more clearly, and that is helpful. What undeniably becomes clear is that there’s unresolved karma inside the both of you. And that it needs to be dealt with. The sooner you start working on it, the easier it is. Opening up towards each other is the key to success. Dare to be vulnerable and be totally honest. Make from your togetherness a safe space where you and your partner can push discover who you truly are. Speak out openly what you want, what you’re afraid of, and show even the parts that you don’t want to show. It’s fast-track therapy. Not easy, I know, but what normally takes years to get over, can now be solved in a day.
Catharsis is hard. But I encourage you to not to give up. Because once you understand and trust the mechanism behind this purification of karma, it becomes easier to cope with. It’s a bit like grinding a diamond. The revelation of this inner diamond means the blossoming of your soul, and the manifestation of your true self into the world.
The road to liberation passes straight through hell. It’s no joke. There’s no shortcut to enlightenment. But it’s definitely worth it all. That’s a promise.
It’s a misunderstanding that an awakened person is smiling peacefully all day long. If that is the case, it’s most certainly fake. Real Buddha’s don’t look like the way institutionalized religions wants us to believe they look. Jesus wasn’t a soft snowflake hippy. He was a provocative dissident. An enlightened rebel that was accused for blasphemy. The authorities considered him a criminal, and punished him with crucifixion. No, the Good Shepherd wasn’t always mister nice guy, as proofs the following description from the Bible. ‘Whit a whip made of cords he drove the merchants and money-changers out of the temple, while he overturned there tables and poured out the coins, screaming: “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house into a house of trade.”’ So, yes, an awakened being can get angry. The difference is that deep below the anger the inner smile hides. Awake consciousness is present and observing all emotional fluctuations undisturbed. That being said: The human physics takes a bit longer to adjust to new insights than the mind. So shortly after awakening, ingrained reactions that are driven by unconscious triggers are easily activated. Sometimes extremely forceful. As if the ego, in its last convulsing attempts, tries to take back control. At that moment the anger comes out without a filter. This can look mad, wild and dangerous. Than the sword of truth hasn’t always the desired effect, to put it mildly. To handle the sword of truth takes practice. This makes it so much harder for your partner to understand what is going on. Often the partner feels – and perhaps rightly so – attacked, belittled, betrayed, exposed, abandoned, uncertain or tricked by you when you’re overenthusiastically waving the sword of truth around. They assume that this is not how a real spiritual awakened person should behave. It softens after a while. But seeing truth makes the things we want to ignore, impossible to ignore. By pushing the boundaries as a shadow-worker we get the experience to establish a more careful approach. So the sword of truth destroys only that which is false and fake.
As a shadow-worker I had to find out that the sword is sufficient enough as a pointer. So yes it’s true, in the beginning I pushed too hard, was too radical, too over-enthusiastic. I admit that. And I still sometimes lack patience. But hey, even a master doesn’t stop learning. I’ve walked the path, and I’m still walking it. Believe me, working with karma is like casting out devils. A nasty job. I didn’t get the title Master of Destruction for no reason. And it certainly didn’t came free with a pack of oatmeal. But it works. And those who stood closest to me and still stand, rely on what I do. They’ve all made the shift, or are working on it. Some have run away, too bad for them.
My advice to you – when you recognize that you’re in a karmic relationship – is as follows: Even though the repeated drama is draining your energy, and the same endless quarreling keeps you trapped in despair, don’t give up a love-relation to easily because it becomes uncomfortable. Love is worth fighting for, worth dying for, and even better: worth living for. Don’t think every quarrel is a waste of time. Conflicts that eventually create breakthroughs, are always better then pretending or ignoring each other for the sake of peace.
Yes, a karmic love affair can get heated up badly. At times it seems like insanity to continue the relationship. And sometimes it is. It’s okay to break up. At least take time to let things cool down before you talk again. Back off for a while. In a healthy relationship its crucial anyway to spent some time alone. To meditate, to exercise, to do your own thing. Love is freedom. It needs to breath, and space to spread its wings. Even when you’ve met your twin-flame, after many lifetimes apart, your soul needs to stay centered inside yourself. Solitary moments renew your energy. Being separate teaches you to trust, to accept, and to let go. It’s best to integrate what you both have learned apart. Embrace a moment of being alone with source, before you unite again to let love nurture your body. That’s the organic rhythm of the cosmic love dance. Not every dragon has to be slayed straightaway. Not everything has to be solved instantly. Energetic blockages can dissolve fast, but the emotional inner wounds need time and rest to heal.
Celebrate the good times, and welcome the hard times with an open mind. The hard times are the most precious. Because your relationship is all about working your way out of the vicious karmic circles. Deal with the problems and fears. No longer run away for them. There is no escape from karma anyhow. If you can’t work out your karma now with your karmic partner, you’ll automatically attract a new partner that confronts you with the same problems even harder in your next relationship.
It’s possible that you’ve had a relationship with your lover in a former lifetime. And made a soul contract before stepping into this life. Your difficulties are just tools to remove your masks. It’s all part of a bigger cosmic design. Necessary to find back your divine nature. It takes many incarnations before your authentic face is found back, and you return back home inside your heart, the heart of all source.
It’s not without reason that your true self is hiding. Fear is covering your inner child with layers of energetic scar tissue. These layers don’t dissolve by itself. So when the unconscious karmic partner re-invites the drama, this is just what is a necessary, because the unconsciousness can only be made conscious in this hard way. The whole idea of these dynamics is to create a breakthrough. So the clashes that seem such a waste of time and energy are actually useful. No, a relationship with a karmic partner is not all puppy dogs and rainbows. But it’s exactly what you need for the incredible opportunity for soul expansion.
The only possibility to get rid of bad karma, is by become fully aware of the unconscious patterns. Karma just keeps knocking on your door harder, until you wake up. Why is this all so difficult and hard? Well, like I mentioned before, the thing is that it hurts when inner wounds are touched. This creates mortal agony. And a fight, flight or freeze reaction. Completely natural responses to protect the inner child. The paradox is that your inner child doesn’t want protection anymore. The inner child is crying out for love and liberation. The fear based ego is using all its authority to ignore this inner voice, or tries to silence it. That’s what makes karmic healing so difficult.
In many relationships this results in an endless battle between trust and fear. The dilemma is that the person who is able to touch our vulnerability, appears to be the opponent. The simple fact that love gives someone the power to make or break our inner child, gives our ego enough reason to push them away, and to consider the one that loves us as the enemy every time it comes to close. Crazy, isn’t it? Yes, but just look around you, it happens all the time. Ego and inner child have forgotten that they’re one and the same. Emotional trauma has created a split personality in every human. Everybody is fragmented and shattered in broken pieces. The world has become a crazy maze where people desperately are searching for love, and are led astray by the fear of losing it. They are so desperate and lost that they try to fulfill their craving for love with things like sex, cars, financial security, drugs, power and reputation. Of course these substitutes for love will never answer the deep desire for soul unity. And instead the poor inner child is starving a bit more.
Broken souls push love away, while only love can make them whole again. Many couples don’t see this trick the fear based ego does on them. They end the romance after the first setback smashes their illusion of how love is supposed to be. Deep inside they’re relieved to escaped the vulnerability after each break-up. Not realizing that their greatest strength lies within embracing their vulnerability. So the same story continues. Lovers become enemy’s. After a little while they start to project their fantasy on someone new. And soon the drama of unresolved karma repeats the sad story all over again.
Finding love seems an impossible task. Because even if karmic patterns in a relationship can be openly discussed, this will create resistance and stress. The fact that the awakened partner sees through many karmic structures, doesn’t mean that they themselves have no inner wounds to heal, or that they don’t need to be taken care of. The karmic work only stops when everyone is enlightened. Because every individual human carries the karma of the whole humanity within.
Once the transformation starts in a relationship by mirroring each other’s shadow sides, this feels a bit like open heart surgery with kitchen knives, and without anesthesia. So it goes against all laws of nature to surrender to that. Complete madness. But it’s the only road to liberation in a karmic relationship. So to trust is the best thing to do. Trust means blind surrender. That’s logical, because otherwise it wouldn’t be trust, just cold calculation.
People are rightfully terrified of a broken heart. But what if I told you that the heart needs to break open? That the heart has to be open, to be able let love flow in and out. You have to be willing to let your ego die first. Before the new comes, the old has to die.The good news is that the realization of this higher truth, means your rebirth as a liberated soul.
If you want to transcend bad-karma, you’ll need to jump into the unknown. Awakening is the beginning of that process. But there is no free ticket. The only way out is through. Your programming isn’t easy to delete. It is formed since the beginning of time, when soul incarnated into matter. There are traumatic blind spots deep inside you that haven’t seen the light of day, and your karmic partner is the one that will discover them. In that sense you can regard your partner as your greatest teacher. Not reacting impulsively to emotional accusations from a beloved one is hard. Drama is highly addictive, that’s why co-dependency has such a strong grip. That’s where the saying: ‘They can’t live with but also not without each other’ derives from. In general people don’t like to give up there certainties, even if they’re harmful and destructive.If everything goes well for a long time, this can make people feel uncomfortable. Partners often miss their fights after a while. It’s like a drug, Drama gave the relation a sense of certainty that they could rely on. But you won’t be bored by eternal bliss when your karmic debt is compensated, I can assure you that.
Transforming darkness into light is a battle of mythical proportions. It’s a fight with inner demons and monsters that seem to visit you straight out of hell. A nerve-racking, yet indispensable phase to obtain enlightenment. Accepting whatever comes on this journey is half of the work. And after a the first taste of victory, you’ll be able to stay centered and relax more. That doesn’t mean the testing stops. Oh no my dear, your calmness is like a red flag in front of a bull. You’re going to be flipped upside down and inside out until all hope for mercy is beaten out of you. Your partner won’t stop pushing and pulling until all your karmic roles are shattered. And probably the purification will never fully end during this life. For you’re not only healing karmic issues for yourself and your partner, but also on a collective scale. In fact the whole cosmos plays a part in your karmic web. Because – as I’m sure you figured out already – ALL IS ONE.
At some point – and that is going to be the major shift in consciousness – you’ll get to see the full scale of the whole cosmic joke. The divine source had to play this joke on itself. Oneness had to create the illusion of duality and separation to experience itself. Being conscious aware of this is, creates the transcendence of duality. Then the smile of the Buddha rises inside your heart. Like an inner sun. And you feel this deep respect for the cosmic intelligence behind it all. And instead of becoming angry about a certain remark that used to trigger you. You feel a sense of deep compassion for the remark, because you know where the pain behind it attack is coming from.
A karmic love relation is an accelerator for personal growth. Learning to love is an astonishing way to discover and develop the full potential of human evolution. An already awakened partner can surely help you on this journey, if you’re open to it. But in the end there is only one person who can decide to end the suffering that is created by the wheel of karma. And that person is you!
So, take that leap of faith. Reconnect with the lost inner child inside you. Face all the layers of fear without resisting. Surrender yourself to love without expectations. Your karma simply dissolves by applying your attention to it, that’s all you need to do. You’ll be fine. Trust the inner child. This inner child is your true self. Let it free. Open up. Your heart knows exactly what you need. And you deserve it all!
Thanks for your attention and I’m looking forward to your reactions and insights.
Sending you light and love,Henk Verhaeren aka The Master of Destruction
Feel free to order a copy of: ‘Global Awakening Part One: The Master of Destruction right here : Global Awakening
From the book Global Awakening-the master of destruction
It’s simple. If you accept the suffering, you will no longer be torn between fear and despair. Then you only have to deal with the pain that is. And that pain, is much less than the suffering you create with avoiding, ignoring, fighting and fearing it.
Nothing is certain. Every situation is temporary. Nice situations will go by. Thus also the unpleasant ones will pass. You win some, you lose some. Love and happiness are followed by their opposites. Today you feel fine, ready to take over the world. Tomorrow you’re sick, and don’t want to get out of your lazy bed. Today you are in love with someone, tomorrow you love to drink their blood. Today you have some savings, tomorrow it is spent. Today you have a job, tomorrow you are fired. This is the wheel of karma. The natural movement of life. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, right.
But I’ve got to do something, don’t I?
An Awakened being is someone that has realized that trying to control the upward and downward movement of life is insane. Average people only want the upward movement. That is not realistic. They get so focused on going up and staying there, that they don’t see that the downward movement is necessary to create enough speed to go upwards. They only are willing to accept the pleasure and joy. But pain and sadness are not separate from joy and happiness.
Society is caught in a treadmill of life. That’s deadly tiring. Eventually society will collapse. Also on a personal level people are doing the best they can to control the wheel, but it’s mission impossible. At some point the physical and mental exhaustion becomes so large that one collapses. That’s an attempt from the Higher to make people aware. But a burn-out, depression or suicidal thought are seen as a failure in our society. Unfortunately most people don’t want to go to the depth, they want a fast solution. Symptom management. They cannot even bear the idea that it makes no sense to go on living in the way they do. Instead of addressing the real cause, they start looking for means and ways to combat the symptoms. Pills or booze, help to ignore the inner outcries. They have learned to suppress their inner voice in society. And society will help them to find new strategies to repress that inner voice again. To get them back on their feet again so they can go on fighting against the wheel, like Don Quixote against the windmills.
A breakdown is an opportunity to renew things. A chance to start with a clean slate. To reconnect with source so it can provide you the multidimensional building blocks you need to expand. But going to the bottom to resolve things can hardly be put into practice in today’s society. Simply because there is this collective delusion that there is no time for it. Also we don’t dare to show others that we feel weak and uncertain, or downright scared. Because nobody does that. Instead of facing the fear and overcome the problem, people stuff their heads with tranquillizers and techniques. On doctors’ advice people decide to eat a little healthier and to physically exercise a bit more. A nice aspiration. And people will feel better after their energy comes back. But the down period is quickly forgotten when one feels just a little bit better. And soon they start to focus on the top of the wheel again. This time it will surely work out… they believe. Yeah right.
From the book Global Awakening-the master of destruction
The Path of love is narrow
The path of love starts wide. But if you begin to follow it, it becomes narrower along the way. It is like an inverted river. The path of love doesn’t lead us to the sea of everything, but back into the source of one. The path gets smaller as we find out that the things we think of as love, are often just a surrogate.
At the beginning of the path, one tries to catch love and contain it. But love cannot be held as a possession. That can be frightening, because love is so beautiful that you don’t want to lose it. Some people become so afraid after they experienced the wrenching pain from the loss of a lover, that they start to avoid intimacy. They shut down. That’s a sad thing. Isolation is the same as slowly dying. And many people really do. The light in their eyes is gone.
The path of love is only for the brave. All illusions will crumble the mountain path under your feet. It becomes so narrow that you can fall in the abyss with each next step. The path is like a silk thread. If it breaks, it means falling. So you would be crazy to go further, because obviously the thread can´t hold you.
But there is no turning back at this point. Every move is dangerous.
So what happens? Well, you can freeze, but eventually you will fall into the abyss anyway. So why postpone. Just jump. And then you will notice, to your pleasant surprise, that you will not crash and die. You´ll have to drop yourself if you want to be free. That’s why they call it: falling in love. Jump into the abyss blindly, and all the fears you carried along will let go of you, simply because fear is too afraid to follow you in there. Just as darkness can’t penetrate the light. From the moment you realize this, you are Awakened in truth.
The jump is where the path of your worldly identification ends. Love and life bundle themselves as one. And that One, is the new you. A point of concentrated nothingness, reconnected with the divine source. From that point on, the river turns, and it becomes impossible to describe the state ‘you’ are in.
What is the right way to come into this ‘place’?
There is no answer to that question. Nobody can tell you. You can only know ‘it’, if you are there. And if somebody tells you; ‘My way is the only way to get in’, it is almost certainly not true.
But it seems that the chance of getting there is bigger if you follow strict lines. Considering that the smallest lie will draw you away from the narrow entrance at the end of the path. Any excuse or doubt will only cling you with false safety anchors on the mountain ridge.
So you cannot go further. You will only swing back and forth between fear and hope alongside the steep mountainside. You will need all your effort to keep yourself standing on the ledge above the abyss in that position. And because of the entailing stress, you might even forget why you came there in the first place: to find love. The mountainside hangs full of people who made the same slip-up. And they become entangled in each other’s lifelines that are getting interwoven fast by all the intrigues, self-delusions and manipulations.
The final step on the narrow path to liberation you´ll have to make alone. Counting on anything or anyone else will get you stuck. Yes, it is a crowded place out there, so close to the top on the mountain to liberation, and you might start thinking: ‘If so many people are hanging in there, they must be right’. But no, they just got lost and are walking in circles. They hang on to their old life patterns in fear. You cannot have the old and the new at the same time. The whole pattern of old securities must be cut in pieces completely. Therefore, the smallest lie, denial, or fear of shadow self, can extinguish the light at the end of the path. So it is important to recognize those traps as quickly as possible. Stay out of the spider web. Protect your higher self. Drop it all. Make your old identity so small that it disappears.
It must be just like Jesus said once: “And again I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle” than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. With the rich man he probably means a person who clings to material goods. So even clinging
to your body and your life, will hold you up. With ‘a rich man’ he doesn’t mean someone with a truckload of money. Even if you cling onto the tiniest straw of grass it means that you don’t want to give up your earthly securities, so you can’t get through the needle, because you can only go through it naked and with empty hands.
And yes, many camels have passed through the eye of the needle before you, because of the camel’s childlike purity, bravery and trust in life. For them it is easier because they don’t have the brain capacity to live in fear and count on time, as a human does.